I’ve never been a fan of gold stars or constantly saying “great job!” to the kids. If you’ve read any Alfie Kohn, you’ll understand this. I’m all for not only “natural consequences” but also for avoiding false praise. I see these as being two sides of the same coin. I know that I’ve been considered to be a “mean” or “uncaring” mom by others when I refuse to dole out praise or when I give constructive criticism or my true opinion.
But, in reading The Happiness Project, I can see a little bit of myself in Gretchen. I sometimes crave praise or attention. And I will do some things just because I want to get it. (“Look at MEEEEE!”) As I have written before, to me being authentic includes not caring what others think. And, to me, this also means that while I am working to stop trying to impress others, I also need to wean myself off of the need for praise and recognition. I need to ensure I am doing what I’m doing because it is something I want to do, not because I expect a gold star in any form.
Gold stars, be gone.
