#3 – Give Up on Blame

Continuing with the 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy, the third item is:

3. GIVE UP ON BLAME
Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

While this is another difficult item, I have been working on it for a while. In the past, if something went wrong, I was very apt to want to place the blame. In my mind, this was aligned with Needing to Always Be Right. If I did the right thing, then I could never be at fault and someone else must be in the wrong.

I’ve since admitted that I do make mistakes. And others do too. And that sometimes things just happen. Bit by bit, I’ve learned to redirect my thoughts from blame to solutions. If something happens that bothers me, what can *I* do to make that not happen again?

Alas, “self-blame” is one that I still struggle with quite a bit. This reminds me that I need to get back to following the writings and musings of Brené Brown who has a new book out this week, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.

who's to blame - 16 sep 2012

1. Give Up Your Need to Always Be Right
2. Give Up Your Need for Control