midlife crisis — interrupted.

This past year, things got real. Really real. Life got hard. Not braces complicated (though we had that) or college choice hard (we had that too).

I had spent the previous few years recovering from homeschooling. I was getting my life and family and work organized. I was starting to find time for connecting with friends. I was taking time to take classes in photography, knitting, and guitar. I joined a gym. I was looking forward to French classes, Python meetups, and new adventures. My time. For me.

But then BOOM. Life intervened. The kind of difficult no parent should ever face, but apparently is more common than we want to admit.

And now we, fingers crossed, are crossing over to the other side. No guarantees that we are free from worry, but we hope that we have made it past the crisis zone.

I, as a parent, cannot share my child’s troubles publicly since this is *her* life. While as a mom, her troubles have taken a driver’s seat in my life, these are still not my troubles. They are hers. As the mom, I am here to help her through them. It has been a challenge for us all. But *I* have been the one to give up all my dreams. I dropped almost everything other than work and a Red Cross commitment in order to be there for my girl.

Slowly, we are coming around. I curled up in my snail’s shell for a while. But now I’m trying to come out a bit. We invited so many people to Camille’s graduation party that I had a panic attack.

Months later, we’re recovering. She’s finding her place. I’m almost caught up at work, home, and volunteering. Soon I might actually get some real rest.

But then? What comes next? Dare I dream? Or should I prepare for another crisis?

flowers- 16 jun 2017

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