christmas shopping FAIL

Year after year. I dread Christmas.

I am the world’s WORST gift giver. This inadequacy of mine stresses me to the point where I want to curl up in a ball and not come out until next year.

Today I realized that this really, really should not surprise me. I hate shopping of any kind for the most part. In “real life” or online, I just don’t like shopping. I don’t like window shopping or browsing. Stress. Waste of time. Boring.

We already have too much stuff. I don’t want anything else to take care of (two kids, a cat, a dog and a turtle are more than enough to keep me busy). I hate having to go through the effort of getting rid of the things we already have — moving last year was extra complicated as I tried to find good homes for all the excess stuff that I had to dispose of in our downsizing. More stuff that I’ll have to get rid of one day? No thanks.

And the things I could use, well, I admit, I’m picky. really picky. Ask Rob. He’s afraid to buy even the simplest of groceries because they won’t be what I had in mind. I feel bad when people get me gifts that I will never use.

And then I really don’t like giving or getting gift certificates, except for kids and college students.

How could I POSSIBLY come up with ideas of gifts for people that they will like and not just want to send out in the Goodwill pile immediately?? I’m not creative enough to know where to start. But I feel I must try. And I try and I try. And know that somehow, every time, I miss the mark. And so why bother? Wasted money, wasted time.

But I’m working on it. I’m going to find some time where I’m not stressing about all the things I need to get done and try to ENJOY shopping and picking out things for others. Maybe I’ll find a way to enjoy Christmas shopping if I work at it a little.

sunset – 20 dec 2012

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